Your Life – The Sum Total Of Your Choices
With so much time on our hands these days, may people are reflecting on their current life positions. They want to know if their life is a good one and, if not, how to choose well to live well. Your life now is the sum total of all the choices that you have made over time.
Your choices will make you happy or sad.
Your choices got you to this point. In reality therefore, if you are not satisfied with where your life is and if you think you do not live well, you have to make different choices. To make those choices, you have to manage your thinking, feelings and actions.
For Most Of Us, Life Happens
For the majority of us, life simply happens. We do not own and control the events happening in our lives that result in the quality of the life we live. This is unfortunate. Understand that I am not talking about our life as a child. During that time we are constrained by the people and environments that shape our lives.
Who our parents are. The schools that we attend. Our effort to study and learn. The financial capability of our parents or caregivers. The influence of our friends.
Those who are not gifted with a stable family and home may well be left to drift and move from place to place, struggling to obtain the necessities for a safe and healthy upbringing. Choices during those formative years may be limited or impossible for us.
You are in the driver’s seat of your life. Where are you going?
We then get to the age of formal adulthood – 18 – that magic number. It is at this juncture that we are handed the wheel of our lives. We are now in the driver’s seat and what we do from here on will have an even greater impact on our lives and how we live.
Will we live well or better? What direction will we take – left or right? Will we wallow in the past behind us and wonder why things were not different? Or, will we move confidently into the future believing that we own our lives?
Most of us allow life to take us where it wants to. Few ever gain control and master the art of living well.
Know Your Destination
Navigating our adult years requires a strategy. Think of this in terms of travelling to a place. To begin, you must know where you are going or at least have a general idea. New York to Chicago, for example. If you do not know the exact street and number you want to arrive at, you at least know that you destination is in Chicago.
Think of that with regard to you education, let’s say. You may have an interest in business but you are unsure of what particular aspect – finance, human resources, marketing, sales. Not exactly sure of the specific career but it rests within the gates of business. So, studying business is an ideal starting destination.
You may enter university or pursue courses – online or classroom – to get to you destination. Along you journey, as you complete the different learning modules, you will soon come to the realisation that you have a deeper interest or affinity for one of the areas and you are then able to pursue that area of study with specialisation.
What is important is having a destination in mind. A destination is a compass. It guides our journey and keeps us focused.
Work With What You Have
This is a mistake that so many of us make. It impacts negatively on the choices we make and impacts profoundly how well we live our lives. We wish, want and wonder to the point of mental and emotional confusion and conflict. Our minds and bodies become so conflicted that we eventually freeze, progressing little and repeating the same cycle over and over.
It is so much more engaging and motivating to work with what is available to you – you skills, knowledge, experience, time. These are the things that you CAN control and no one else can impact unless YOU allow them to.
Being comfortable with our earnings can certainly help us to live well.
A major player here is the area of finance. Many wish for more money and wonder what their life would be like if they had more. Hope and wonder are not processes. They get us nowhere. What moves us along is rising, pulling up our sleeves and DOING something to change our current construct.
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Choose Your Tribe Carefully
If you take nothing else away with you today, take this: The people you choose to have in you life will build you up or reduce you. That is a choice you can control and I urge you to pay close attention to you relationship circles.
Who are the people in you life? How do you feel when you are with them? Do they leave you feeling larger and happier or do you feel smaller and wanting? Is you energy bag fuller or depleted? Do they take more than they give?
These are important questions to answer. The people in you circles will influence you life in very profound ways, and you may not even realise how deep the impact of their influence is if you are not aware. Take time to do a people assessment of you life and answer the above questions for each person currently there.
Choose people who uplift you.
Pay particular attention to those persons in you inner circle – those closet to you. They have the most potential to support you life choices for a life lived well.
Relationships can be toxic. Abuse is not only physical and loud. It can be subtle and can wear you down slowly over time. Tat may be a lot worse because it takes longer to detect. By the time you figure it out, years have passed and you may need years to rebuild.
Choice Means Change
There is the classic definition of madness: Doing the same thing and expecting different results. Truer words have not been said. So often in life I see people struggling with their current situation but DOING nothing differently. We are inclined to talk, often to the wrong people, complain and vent rather than DOING something to change our situation.
To change, we first have to make a decision that we want our life to be different and then we have to ACT. If we do not ACT, nothing will change.
If you are concerned about how well you live and you well-being, this is the perfect time to take stock and begin choosing to do things differently to ensure a life well lived.
Want Different? Be Different.
Well-BEing is active. To achieve it, you have to do, act, move in the direction of you goals and objectives. We live in a time of great uncertainty and change. Life as we have known it and caused it to be is no longer relevant.
This is a time that calls for us to BE different. We can live well and enjoy deep well-being in our daily lives. That however requires us to choose well.
Leave a comment:
If you enjoyed this blog and would like to contribute to this discussion, please leave a comment below. I would love to here how you have chosen to live well and build a life of meaningful well-being.
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